This article is really reaching out to all of you who have lost a loved one who worked in the Northern Ireland Prison Service. The PST has hundreds of clients who are widows or widowers. Some have been bereaved recently, others for many years, but nothing can take away the pain of their loss. When the Trust was set up, we realised very quickly that it was a difficult task to encourage widows/widowers/medically retired clients to come to events on their own. Of course, sometimes clients bring a guest with them to events or trips. However, on other occasions the Trust runs social outings which are solely aimed at widows and widowers and guests are not able to attend. This brief write up is just one example of a widow who took a leap of faith and went on a PST trip on her own, and she has never looked back…
Michael Massey joined the Northern Ireland Prison Service in 1981. He worked in the Crumlin Road for 12 years before moving to Hydebank Wood where he mainly worked in the control room. His wife Heather recalls many tales of the camaraderie which helped Officers and families get through the terrible times of the Troubles but unfortunately Michael was medically retired with PTSD. After the sad passing of her husband Michael in 2009, his wife Heather attended a number of PST trips with their daughter, Zara, and they always had a great time. On one of the PST trips to the Killyhevlin Hotel in Enniskillen, they met Margaret Bailie, widow of Jim Bailie who served in the Northern Ireland Prison Service. Some of you may remember Jim who joined the Service in September 1975 where he met his good friend, Joe McP who many of you will know. They trained and worked together and even received their Imperial Medal together. Margaret recalls Jim saying that the work at the Maze was difficult, but he would have not hesitated to do it all again as he made so many friends. Tragically he passed away in August 2007. At the time Heather met Margaret, Margaret went on PST trips with her friend Kathleen. Heather and Margaret got chatting and discovered they both lived in the same town even though they had never met before. They enjoyed each other’s company so much that they all spent the rest of the trip all together.
Sometime after that Heather was offered a place on a PST trip to Dublin that Zara was unable to attend. She thought about it for a while and decided eventually that she would go on her own. She was nervous when she went at first and felt a bit like a fish out of water until Margaret and Kathleen said to her “you won’t be on your own, join us!” After this her nerves began to settle, and they went on to have a great time. They loved touring the shops, having a laugh and even getting their photos taken with a leprechaun. Just before COVID hit Kathleen and Zara were unable to attend the trips as often. So, Margaret and Heather applied to go on trips separately and soon found themselves in each other’s company, having lunch and dinners together, mixing with the rest of the widows, generally bonding straight away, and so, the seeds of a good friendship were born. After having a great time and getting on so well they decided they would continue to attend future PST trips together.
Something Margaret had said to Heather has always stuck - “The PST are like an extended family”. Over the years they say they have met a lot of really nice people from the widow groups and the medically retired. No-one is left alone, and everyone has a good time. Through their times on the trips and functions they have formed a lasting friendship both within the PST and outside. They have also now met a lot of other widows, and they continue to meet new friends as the PST family grows.
So, the message from Heather and Margaret in a nutshell is simple – as Margaret said, the PST is like an extended family. You are never on your own. If you want to come along to a social event or go on a trip on your own, what’s stopping you? We have a lot of single attendees at events who have a fabulous time and enjoy meeting new friends. It is always nice to know that you may meet someone who worked with your husband/wife/partner and who can share heart-warming stories of working alongside your spouse or partner. It’s got to beat sitting on your own in the house, right???? Come on, you won’t know what you are missing until you try it. Margaret and Heather did, and they have now forged a life- long friendship….
Thank you, Margaret and Heather, for sharing your heart-warming story with us all.
By June Robinson.
